In praise of VW Campers.

In her kind recommendation to a prize for `The Versatile Blogger` which I ungratefully turned down, Jacqui, at French Village diaries mentioned that one of her unfulfilled ambitions was to own a VW camper, with a stripy elevating roof. Well, I can add dust and ashes to her head by saying that Kim and I owned exactly such a vehicle and even gave it away in its dotage when it was no longer drivable! Such a shame, I`ll bet that Ade could have restored it to its former glory. Is it worth enquiring, I wonder from the fellow who collected fire engines in Loubillé whether he still has its corpse in some dingy outbuilding?
  As proof, I submit these shots of Katie Camper in all her glory of (comparative) youth. Let me take you on a tour of her ample accommodation.
  The front two seats covered in a woolly tweed, simple dashboard with radio and big heater/air vent.
underneath is a CD radio and mike, doesn`t work in France of course.


Passing between the seats, one enters the rear of the camper. Behind the driver`s seat is the kitchen unit, with a wooden top which lifts up to reveal a little gas stove and a stainless sink. A cupboard underneath for stored food and the Calor bottle, a large drawer for cutlery. Opposite is a single rear-facing seat, which I adapted to cover a Porta-Potty. Behind that a bench seat with ample room for three passengers and behind that again a cushioned square over the engine, ideal for a dog or two. The rear seat folds up to form a huge and comfy bed with the cushioned square, and two stretcher-like single beds can be unrolled from above. A table can be clipped between the rear three seats.Two large, hinged doors at the front, one sliding door at the side, and upward-opening hatch at the back and a similar one giving access to the air-cooled. VW Beetle-type 1600cc horizontally- opposed engine.
  It had its draw-backs of course. The heating was inadequate in the winter,and the engine was not exactly powerful for a heavy vehicle. The braking was not efficient if you are used to modern, power-assisted systems. But it felt safe and solid right from the start and if it did not accelerate swiftly, it kept on increasing with a feeling rather like a railway train to a surprisingly high top speed. And to do its job as a magic carpet for two people there was nothing like it! We kept it fully stocked and equipped with tinned food, cereal, boxed and dried milk etc, and if you decided to go away for a weekend, you could put your pyjamas and wash-gear in a bag, get in, start up and just go. Great for spur of the minute decisions. Or as a day-picnic vehicle it had no competitor. We even used it to do my job as Claims Inspector for the CIS, to the surprise of some clients. Kim liked to come with me for a day out and we visited almost every town and village in Devon and Cornwall and had the facility of a brew-up if the driving became tiring.
  Of course, we also used it for holidays both in Britain and in France. In Britain, we begrudged paying for campsites and the complete autonomy of the camper enabled us to `fly camp` without any problem. We would choose a quiet lay-by somewhere and bed down quietly. We were never once moved on by Police or land-owners and if we had have been, it would have been the work of a moment to start up and drive off!
I remember one out of season camp near Huelgoat in Brittany. We tried to use the camp-site but it was locked and deserted. No problem, we parked in the wooded entry-lane and used their water tap to replenish supplies. We woke up next morning to see a red squirrel playing in the trees nearby...
   After many years of use we found ourselves using the VW less and less, as the French house was then supplying our holiday needs. The van was handy for transferring goods to it, of course, once we carried a complete set of second-hand kitchen cupboards! In the end the poor thing became tired and in need of an engine overhaul. I suggested swapping it in but Kim would not hear of it. In the end, we drove it down to Mort Limouzin, where it served for several years as a spare bedroom, parked in the hangar for when we had a surplus of people staying!
  A lovely vehicle, and we still miss it from time to time. I have felt a real pang writing this obituary. Rest in peace, Katie Camper or should it be rust in peace....

   Bye for now, the dogs are whining to go out!

La Mort Limouzin News Update.

 

Well, Spring seems finally to have arrived and the wood-burner is out for the last time. As you can see, I have re-erected the garden shelter. I had put it up earlier in the year during the `false Spring` and it failed the test of a windy day, collapsing in catastrophe and bending or breaking several tubes. In justice, it must be said that it was a cheapy bought from one of the wagons calling from a large distributor, but it was disappointing nontheless. Yesterday, I decided to do a repair job and cobbled it together somehow! I have attached some brackets to tie it to the house, rather than rely on its spindly legs, so we shall see whether it proves more resistant. A suivre!
  You can also see that our yellow rose is in bloom with loads of scented flowers. I shall have to cut it back from the window later, but don`t want to lose any flowers. It`s a beautiful sight, the only drawback is that it only blooms once

   On the animal front all is well at present. Sox has made a rapid recovery from her sterilisation, and is her old lively self. Gremlin continues to do well, though we have agreed with the vet a slight dimunition of his heart drugs, as he seemed to lose some of his appetite.The dogs and other cats are doing well, though Ebrill seems to be losing her sight. Still, as she knows her way around it is not the handicap it could be.

In the garden, all is flourishing, especially, unfortunately, the grass and weeds! Kim is frantically planting out her new season seeds and plants and trying to pull out the weeds which invade her plot. I am busy with the lawn mower and strimmer, keeping abreast of the grass, which threatens to swamp us. Even the sheep are losing the battle to eat up all the new grazing.

   Our friends from Lille, Cécile and Patrick have gone back home with their caravan on Friday, so the area seems a bit empty. Patrick had decided not to use the payages, but to follow smaller roads, to save toll fees and to save diesel by a lower average speed. Cécile was less enthusiastic as the trip was therefor very long and slow and they did not arrive in Lille until Goodness knows when, but they made it safely.
   Well, that`s the end of the two o`clock news going to have a cup of tea...  Bye for now.

The versatile blogger award

My good friend Jacqui at The French Village Diaries has been kind enough to nominate my blog for the above award. The rules are that you nominate in turn 15 other blogs you enjoy and relate seven interesting facts about yourself. I will admit to feeling quite flattered at the attention to my humble blog. But then I thought, wait a minute, if each nominee chooses 15 other blogs the number of nominees will increase by the power 15. That is 15 x15 at each time the award is nominated. The figures will increase as follows:-  15
                                225
                              3375
                         50625
                759375
         11,390,625  
   At this point my calculator gave up but never mind that`s enough. there can`t be enough blogs to go round. Over eleven million awards in only 6 removes. It`s a nice thought but in three weeks time everybody will have been nominated at least ten times and the award will rather lose its point. That`s the problem with pyramids like this, the numbers increase very rapidly indeed. So, sorry, Jax, I wouldn`t upset you for the world, but I think I`ll pass on this one , especially as I don`t follow as many as fifteen blogs

 Bye for now...

Visit to a Roman Theatre- Les Bouchauds, near Rouillac.

As is often the case, it`s the visitors to a region who stimulate the blasé inhabitants to visit the local sites of interest, and this certainly happened yesterday. Patrick and Cécile, our friends from Lille, are visiting us with their caravan and suggested a visit to these Gallo-Roman remains.
  The site is situated in open country-side on a little hill near Rouillac. At the end of the 19th Century a local landowner noticed traces of ruined walls covered by forest on his land. Suspecting remains of a Norman castle, he started a treasure hunt. Disappointed at the lack of treasure, this unsuccesful archeologist sold the site to a limestone quarrier, who luckily seems not to have got round to exploiting it before it was recognised and protected as a Roman site,some 1000 years older than the first owner had thought. Today the remains slumber in the woods, overlooking the plains to the north.
   The Theatre was sited to take advantage of a natural bowl in the side of a little hill, and must have been imposing in its heyday, seating some 7000 spectators. Apparently it was used for cultural, religious and political events rather than the spectacles and gladiatorial games of the arenas. The spectators would have been seated on wooden benches, apart from the grander persons in the front few rows who had stone seats which still survive. It is a strange feeling to sit on a seat previously occupied at the time of Christ by an august Roman bum!
  I even took the opportunity to tread the stage and to declaim a few lines, `Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears` The accoustics are good and Kim, seated in the audience at the top of the bowl said she could hear every word.
   Most of the buildings have disappeared, but the shape of the amphitheatre remains to show how the theatre must have looked in its heyday, and to show how our remote ancestors amused and instructed themselves so long ago.
  In fact, a very amusing visit which we all enjoyed.

  Bye for now, going to bring myself up to date with a morning cup of coffee.

Two day break-- La Rochelle and l`Ile d`Oleron.

We had decided to have a little break, and to visit La Rochelle and the Ile d`Oleron, staying, as usual in the Formule 1 Hotels. We have always found these clean and cheap, the sole disadvantage is that the showers and toilets are on the landing near the room. Still. as the new publicity states, they are probably nearer than our bathroom at home!

   Our neighbours Ian and Sarah kindly agreed to feed the cats and ducks and we took the dogs with us as they are well used to living in the car when we are on tour. Normally when we go away, we pack everything the day before, this time we needed far less equipment and threw it hurriedly in the car on the morning of our departure on Wednesday. The only thing we forgot was Kim`s sun hat, not bad!
   We were away by 1030 a bit later than planned. The GPS chose a strange route, going West nearly to  St Jean d`Angély, then North nearly to Niort before adopting the usual route from there. Must plot it out on the map to see if perhaps it does make sense, but it was very picturesque anyway on a lovely sunny morning when we were not in a hurry. Talking of the sun, we had beautiful weather both days, as the sun seems to shine on the righteous! Dont bother to remind me of the other half of this saying....
  The Formule 1 for La Rochelle is located at Angoulins-sur-mer a few k`s towards Rochefort. We located it and signed in with zero fuss, they are all the same wherever you are. Dull, perhaps, but you know in advance what you are getting. Then we went out to explore around Angoulins.
But first we had rather a strange lunch. We went up to a little sandwicherie in the local shopping mall, and chose filled baguettes, Kim`s were cheese and ham, mine chicken and salad. The server handed over our coffee straightaway, but retained the two baguettes for a moment. She then inserted them in a sort of guillotine and pulled down the cover. They emerged piping hot and tiger-striped!  Delicious but unexpected...
   We had seen on the map a Nature reserve a few k`s towards Rochefort, and went to have a look. A bit of a disappointment-- it really WAS a nature reserve, i.e. reserved for ducks and geese and prohibited for humans and dogs!We consulted the map again and went on to Fourras, which turned out a pretty little coastal town, the embarcation point for the ferry to the Ile d`Aix. It also has a little castle, constructed by that indefatigable coastal fortifier, Vauban, and even a railway station, though possibly not for long-distance travel!

   Also, much in evidence were establishments for growing and collecting coquillages, oysters, mussels etc. I went down onto the beach to snap the picturesque fishing cabins, and the foreshore was littered with oyster-shells. We had a good walk with the dogs along the track above the beach. You could even see Fort Boyard in the distance.
   After that, we returned, tired and slightly sunburnt, to our hotel for a shower, and later for our traditional meal at the local MacDonalds, which we could reach on foot by crossing some roads, although we had the strong suspicion that we were the first people that had ever done so...And so to bed.

  The next day, after stuffing ourselves as full as possible with the `unlmited` breakfast we set out to visit the Ile d`Oléron. After turning off the Rochfort road, we headed down towards the Charente, into the marais. We started to see storks flying across, and then, to our surprise we saw that they had built their nests on the high-tension electricity pylons! There was a stretch where every pylon had a huge nest with a sitting stork, there really doesn`t seem to be any shortage of these huge birds, unless, of course, they start to `short` out the power.. I would not have believed it unless I had seen it! I stopped to take a photo, not good, but incontravertible evidence.

  We crossed the causeway onto the Ile d`Oléron  and Kim suggested we drive round the coast to get an overview. The island really has two industries, oysters and mussels, and holidays in the form of holiday cottages and campsites. Nevertheless it is attractive with lots of fishing ports and plenty of woods into which the crowds at the bridge end quickly disappear. We decided to head for some pine-woods near Boyardville, the nearest land to the celebrated Fort. We parked in a shady clearing and took the nearest footpath, which by a happy coincidence led to the beach opposite the Fort.The dogs were delighted to be able to play on the almost deserted beach,each in their own fashion. Jilly plunging into the sea, Toffee walking along the edge and paddling, skipping aside when the foam threatened to damp his tummy, and Laika watching the waves from a prudent distance with deep suspicion. Jilly also took the opportunity to eat three decaying starfish corpses which led to a deplorable accident the next morning after we had returned home...

  From here we went on to see the impressive lighthouse at Chassiron on the end of the island. Unfortunately it had been affected by subsidence and Kim had to push it back up...
  Finally, we had a huge pizza for a late lunch and returned home via St Jean d`Angle to prevent any fantaisies on the part of the GPS and to see more storks and herons in the marshes before the town.
  We arrived back tired and slightly sunburnt after an extremely pleasant two days. We count ourselves most fortunate to live in a region where there is so much to visit and to enjoy.

  By for now, got to get Kim up soon, we`re going to a book fair

Le Tournesol--Politically incorrect joke.

  I thought this joke published in our local free magazine deserved wider, or at least, different publication.

As an Air France plane for New York was boarding, a blonde sat down in the first class section at the front of the aircraft. The stewardess approached her and said she should move to the second-class section, as she did not have a first-class ticket. The blonde replied,` I am blonde, intelligent, I have a good job and I will stay in the first-class section until we reach New York.`
  Nonplussed, the stewardess asked the co-pilot what to do. He went up to the blonde and spoke quietly in her ear. She immediately got up and moved to the second-class seats in the rear of the plane.
   The stewardess asked the co-pilot how he had convinced the blonde. `Easy, ` he said, `I just told her the front of the plane wasn`t going to New York1`

   Bye for now, going to hide from cross blondes!

Update--the end of the swarm saga?

I promised to let you know the outcome of the story of the bee-swarm. Well, by the next morning the hive had been reclaimed after dark and most of the bees had gone with it. However a small patch of the insects remained on the ground, a small remnant of the patch you can see in the photo, next to the hive. Apparently, there was a second queen in the part of the swarm which had broken off and fallen to the ground under the main swarm. About a cereal bowl of bees remained there the next day and this small colony seems slow to dissipate, though Christian reports there are less each day. I expect they will fade away soon, certainly if it rains! The problem is more or less solved and I hope the main swarm likes it at their new home.
   The weather has been much sunnier the last few days, hot at first, then getting a bit fresher. That is good for working in the garden and we certainly need to, the grass has come on in leaps and bounds and the strimmer and Flymo have been busy. Talking of grass, the Commune`s gardeners have been very slow to cut the grass on the little green in front of our door, most unusual, especially as they have entered the `Ville Fleurie` competion. They won`t stand much chance if the judges see the jungle opposite!  I will have a word with the Maire tomorrow, perhaps...

Sox, our latest black and white kitten is now almost grown-up, and has been showing her independence in the usual way!. So as to avoid a further strain on the resources of the Ark, an appointment has been made for next Friday for her to meet our vet, François for the dreaded op. Hope all will go well.
  Well that`s all the Mort Limouzin news for tonight. Bye for now, off to bed in a bit...

A Swarm of Bees in May...

A swarm of bees in May
is worth a load of hay.

 So goes the old proverb, but our neighbours Monique and Christian did not count their good fortune when this swarm established itself like an exotic fruit in a tree at the side of their drive. They called an apiculteur but he never rang back and the swarm remained, buzzing ominously and blocking access to their drive so that the car had to be parked elsewhere.
   It was time to engage the ex-pat network!  I had mentioned the swarm on Facebook, and Jacqui of French Village Diaries suggested a couple of names of English bee-keepers. I rang one based at Civray and John agreed to come and collect the insects.

  He arrived after dinner yesterday and we showed him where the swarm was hanging. He  pointed out that part had broken off and was on the ground beneath. He put on his `space gear` and prepared to transfer the swarm to the hive he had brought with him. I had always supposed that the bees were anaesthetised by smoking and gently transfered to the hive. However, John explained that the bees were to be shaken off into a box and left to find their way into the hive, he would then return after dark when the bees were tranquil, to collect the hive complete with bees. He said this was not a spectator sport, and that the irritated bees would fly everywhere, he advised shutting the windows and doors.
   Only half convinced, we retired to the middle distance but when we saw the tree-branch given a vigorous shake and an angry cloud arise, a general retreat, not to say a rout ensued and their are no further pictures of the no doubt interesting event. I am not of the stuff of these intrepid but foolhardy war correspondents who brave flying bullets to bring close-up pictures of war zones to the TV watchers!
  I looked cautiously back some time later and the insects were buzzing and crawling around the new hive and I HOPE they will have taken up possession by now. I will let you know the outcome later, but now it`s coffee time.

  Bye for now, this is your intrepid camera-man returning you to the studio...

Sad news-- Death of Bandit.

   Sorry to have to report the decease of one of the Ark passengers. Bandit was one of the local cats who had adopted us for several years, sometimes with us at feed time, sometimes more resident at Claudie`s bungalow. For some time he had been looking a little scruffy and unkempt, but a few days ago we noticed he was reluctant to eat and was lethargic and spent his time lying about. We gave him some special attention, wormed him in case that was the problem and tempted him to eat a little by giving him some cat sachet food. By this morning, he was looking so wretched we took him to the vets, as we had an appointment for Toffee`s vaccination. François examined him but could see that he had a serious infection of the cavity round the heart, was dehydrated and in a moribund state. Rather than let him suffer further we all decided to have him put to sleep, which was done straight away.
       A sad event, but a duty with has to be undertaken from time to time if you are caring for animal...

             R I P Bandit  xxx

In praise of the Navigator

Canal enthusiasts will know that one of the meanings of the word `navigator` is a labourer or entrepreneur who digs a canal. Well, I have married one...

Kim conferring with an expert

  You will recall from my previous blog that we have suffered an unaccustomed level of rainfall. Besides swelling the local rivers, this has led to Kim`s veg patch being flooded. Although the water has abated slightly, a small stream was left, flowing gently through the potager. Well, Kim decided to do something about it, and has dug a drainage channel around her cultivation, which has had an almost miraculous effect, the stream dried up almost immediately. The soil will have to dry up for a while before it can be worked but at least it is no longer the bed of a river!

  I hope nobody thinks I was lying back with a cool drink while my poor wife digs ditches; In fact, I was busy mowing the cour...as can be seen above.


 Sunshine and Sox were spreading malicious rumours............






And Gremlin was letting it all hang out.

 Just another typical day at La Mort Limouzin!


Bye for now!

T`was on a Monday morning that the gasman came to call

I don`t  know under what inauspicious star La Mort Limouzin was situated this morning! It started out quietly--A large lorry arrived at the bottom of the village with a delivery of new windows for our friends and neighbours Monique and Christian. A VERY large lorry, for when it backed up to approach their house it pulled the telephone wire out of his wall!  Christian came to us to use our phone to ring France Telecom, always a long-drawn out procedure. After half an hour`s negotiation they agreed to ring back with a repair date and he left to go to town to shop.
   A few minutes after, another lorry was heard, this one with a delivery for M. Chauvet, another neighbour. This further cretin (what is it with French lorry-drivers?) decided to go up our narrow street, found he could not turn at the top and reversed back, carrying away the corner of the verge of our little building on the other side of the road, only re-roofed last year. The damage is in fact superficial, but looks dramatic. I could probably fix it myself, but we have asked Ian, another neighbour,  to do it.
  On his return, we asked Christian to ring the lorry firm for us, as a French native is more likely to get satisfaction, which he did admirably. However, during his shopping trip, a passing car had thrown up a stone which had cracked the windscreen of his car!  As Flanders and Swann sang, it all makes work for the working man to do!! Jamais deux sans trois as the French proverb runs, so we can at least relax in the hope that the series of misfortunes has finished...
  On a more cheerful note, we have had two, dry, warm days and things are starting to dry up a bit, though water is still pouring out of the waterlogged grass. And our new Bank account seems at last to be working, as we have received the transfer of funds from the old Bank and a trial transfer of Pounds to Euros by a specialised firm seems to have gone well. It`s not all doom and gloom!

   Bye for now, going to find my hare`s foot charm...