The lazy cook`s handbook

As the title suggests, the fact is I`m lazy. I tend to simplify jobs so that they take the least time possible,or even avoid them altogether. It`s not so much laziness as such, I tell myself, but efficiency, yes that`s it job efficiency.... no, says Mrs Noah, it`s just laziness pure and simple. well, perhaps.
  As to cooking, I admire the Mrs Beeton type of cook, beautifully organised, long recipe, list of exotic ingredients all to hand, peel this, marinate that for three days.... Wonderful, I can read those cookbooks for ever. See the sparkling results, all laid out on bone china plates, coolis dribbled about in artful patterns, well it`s art, how can you bear to eat it?
  I prefer the one pot type of cooking. I don`t have a list of ingredients, or if I am following a recipe I never have to hand the suggested items and I have to omit and substitute unauthorised substances. I avoid dishes needing long or fiddly preparation. One result is that the resultant meal is unlikely to be repeated, which avoids culinary boredom. The downside is that if by pure chance I do produce an especially tasty dish, I am unable to repeat it. Oh, well, a famous American jazz musician was unable to write music. When a horrified admirer asked why he did not write down his pieces so they could be repeated he said you don`t ask a blackbird `How did that go, again?`
  These thoughts were prompted (I won`t say inspired) by the fact I am making jelly out of our grapes to last us the winter. The black, Baccou variety of our treill vne along the out-building makes a particularly tasty and colourful jelly, which has been much admired. The correct recipe calls for selected grapes in precise quantities, carefully plucked from their stalks, to be simmered with a measured amount of water, strained and filtered, the juice of a fresh lemon added, warmed caster sugar slowly stirred in,and the resultant formula boiled for hours and hours, testing for a set on a cold plate till the wretched stuff sets or you get bored and put it into jars willy nilly or throw it away. The runny jam you eat later is politically correct, however. I remember that Kim and I boiled a small batch of jam in this way years ago before I became so efficient (lazy). No set for ages and ages. At length the maiden cried`Enough, enough, it`s solidified` And by George it had! It had turned into toffee when all the liquid had been driven off and we had to put it on a tray not into jars as it would never have come out again. It was tasty toffee however...
  No, here is how you make grape jelly with maximum efficiency. Take a big bowl of grapes in bunches. Leave the stalks on. Put them in a large pan. Add a bit of water. Simmer with lid on for a few minutes. Squidge with the potato masher to break up the grape skins. Strain through an old muslin net curtain to obtain a lemonade bottleful of juice. Add a sachet of Vitpris mixed with two spoons of sugar and boil for three minutes. Add one and a half kilos of sugar, any sugar, not warmed. boil for another three minutes. Put into old jam jars sterilised in the oven and put on lids boiled in water. It`s simple,it takes half an hour and it WORKS.
Why make life complicated. Save your time to smell the roses.

     Off to lie down in my hammock. Bye for now!