The Christmas Ark.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

  Some readers of the Ark may have remarked that I was not on line for a week or so. This was due to the fact that the Ark was not on station, having sailed some 650 kilometers to the north east so that we could spend Christmas with our good friends Cécile and Patrick at Wattignies, near Lille. This is our usual routine but this year we did have a difficulty-- our usual exchange where we look after our neighbours Ian and Sarah`s dogs and cat, while they in turn look after our menagerie had broken down. Ian and Sarah were going away for Christmas too! Luckily Phillipe, another friend and neighbour kindly volunteered so we could go with a quiet mind. We have given English lessons to a couple of family members, so the trade was not too heavily biassed in our favour...
  This is the first year we have made this trip with our new Berlingo, so we decided to see if we could do the journey in one day, last year we stopped off at Orléans. The Citroen drives very comfortably, so in sharing the driving we got there not too exhausted.
   The Porez family always make us very welcome indeed and we have the use of their guest room. As the new kitten, Mounette, was still too young to be left on her own, she had the run of the room and behaved very well, using her tray without a single `accident`. This meant she could share our bed as she is accustomed at home, and had plenty of cuddles during the day.

And boy, didn`t we eat! The highlights of Christmas up in Lille is a huge family party and meal as the French are accomplished arrangers. But as Cécile and Patrick each have their separate large families living locally, this translates as TWO huge meals to which we are invited! As Cécile`s mother suffers some age-related impairment, she lives in a Granny annex next door to Cécile and for tis reason, both parties were held there, with over 25 guests for the first and 18 for the second. Patrick constructs a huge trestle-table in their large principle room and it looks most impressive when decorated by Cécile.

The meals were copious and well-lubricated, the first being cooked by Eric, Patrick`s brother-in-law, and the second being provided by a Cuistot, a hired caterer, who even brought his own stove to cook the dishes, and announced each one! Father Christmas arrived to distribute the presents from under the tree and each dinner lasted several hours... We particularly appreciated the Cuistot`s cocktail, a delicious concoction of a particularly vivid green! The foie-gras was delicious too...

Suffice it to say that after all this feasting, we have returned home to nurse our stomachs with a low diet and will not be celebrating the New Year with a binge. It was lovely to be able to celebrate with our friends, but equally pleasant to find our peaceful and slower-moving life back on the Ark`s permanent moorings.

   Bye for now, going to cook a LIGHT meal!

To Plymouth and back, despite the Bonnets Rouges.

    Well, it`s all worked out in the end, I did succeed in travelling to Roscoff, crossing the channel with the dogs, spending a week with Kim and Alyson at Al`s house in Plymstock, and finally in bringing Kim back with me to France! Phew, what a relief after the previous debacle, described in my blog entries last but two. If you haven`t read them do now,  it`s an adventure story to make your toes curl up...
   After missing the ferry last time, due to the blockade of the Bretons, protesting at the new Ecotax on lorries, I decided to leave a day early and to avoid the direct route, which is easily blocked. I decided to go cross-country via Bressuire, avoiding Niort altogether, together with the Motorway, and go from Nantes to Vannes, where I had booked a Formule 1 hotel to stay the night. The next day, I would go cross-country from Vannes to Morlaix and Roscoff, the ferry terminal. The scheme, though a little long worked out well, with just a slight worry around Carhaix, where the Bonnets were holding a rally. However, the action was in the town, which my (or rather the Satnav`s ) route avoided, though I did see a Police presence and a hugh pile of brushwood heaped on the roundabout outside the town to be set alight later.

   One advantage of cross-country travel is that you see far more of the countryside and villages, lets face it, all motorways look alike you could be on the M5 near Bristol or the A10 near Melle and if you forgot which you`ld never know the difference... What do you think, for example of this enormous shrine erected alongside the road in a small village?  I HAD to stop and get a pic. It was in the form of a sort of bridge with steps leading up to a huge stained-glass window, but no stream ran beneath it.... very strange.

  Or this typical Breton cottage beside the road further on.


 But what I really wanted to see was Brittany Ferries ship Bretagne waiting at the dock at Roscoff to carry me, the dogs and the faithful Berlingo across the sea to Plymouth.

   Bye for now, I`ll tell you later about my day in Roscoff.

As one door opens, another closes, new door for the Ark

     Well, as you can see, the Ark`s kitchen has been modified with the substitution of this rather snazzy full length UPVC double-glazed door. The door consists of a single length pane to allow the maximum amount of light to enter our rather dark kitchen. The crossbars you can see are, in fact, the screen door outside the glazed door; this serves to keep out mosquitoes in the summer when the glass door is open and to keep in cats and dogs at all times!
    We have been sorting out this transformation for some time, we got an estimate from the firm which did our back door, Messrs Guitton. The estimate being acceptable the door was ordered and on Thursday, when we had forgotten all about it, Vincent Guitton rang to say would it be alright to come next day at eight fifteen to fit it!
  Well, he was there with his assistant  at eight thirty, which is prompt by local standards. The existing door was a massive affair in solid wood, about three inches thick.. It was originally half glazed with four single glazed panes. I had added two more in plastic and a sort of double-gazing over-all with plastic sheeting but it still let in a horrid draught in winter. It was hung on huge pintles built into the wall and there was no way of demounting it!

  M, Guitton cut through the iron hinge-straps with his angle-grinder and the door was unceremonially dragged out into the street. Shame, really as it was probably a hundred years old or more, but it was not a thing of beauty, even before I `modified ` it...

 The wall was then chased out to accept the new frame and with heavy screws and loads of silicon it was put in place. My sole contribution was to step on the wet silicon going out of the door!  Not much damage done, I was assured.

  As the day was pretty nippy the kitchen grew icy, in spite of the stove so I and the cats retreated to the sitting room and the comfort of a gaz heater leaving the Workers to suffer, still they were getting paid for it and in fact didn`t accept my offer of coffee. In very short order, the frame was attached and the new door hung on its hinges. A plastic foam was sprayed around the frame to draught-proof it and oozed out in a disgusting fashion. This would set hard overnight and Vincent would be back to trim it off the next day In almost exactly three hours they had finished and departed, having swept up with their own vac.  I did have to mop the floor and dust all flat surfaces, not surprising after the use of a grinder.
  Vincent was back today to trim off the polyurethane foam. I enquired about the payment but he said a bill would be sent in due course, very French! Altogether a very slick change of entrance door and SO more cozy in this chilly weather!

  Bye for now, going to sit in our warm, draught-free kitchen!

What does THAT remind you of?

I`ll give you a clue!

The Travelling Ark

   One of the major disadvantages of having animals is that they present great difficulties when you want to spend time away from home. Indeed many people avoid having pets at all to leave themselves free to take off with the wind whenever they want. I can sympathise with their wishes to simplify their lives, but we feel that to have a house empty of animals would be a sad life indeed. On the other hand, the logistics of ensuring that the passengers are cared for when we are away is complicated to say the least.
  Cats can`t normally go on holiday with you, though we have taken very young kittens with us within France on two occaions. Dogs can now even go abroad but the formalities are complicated and expensive. Sheep and fowls must stay at home...
   If I am voyaging to the UK, here`s how it goes;-  I arrange to treat the two big dogs against ticks less than 120 hours before I sail under the terms of their Pets` Passports, a visit to the vets involved, of course. Jacquie Brown kindly agrees usually to look after Toffee the smallest dog, though I have added him to the `Travellers Club once when Jax was not available. Mounette, the latest kitten is too young to be left and our friend Agnès Watson has agreed to lavish cuddles on her at her house while ours is empty.  Ian MacDonald will usually agree to feed and survey the remaining part of our menagerie, a heroic task involving twice daily feeding of the cats, tropical fish,sheep and fowls. I am more grateful than I can say to these friends. I do make some return in looking after Ian`s dogs while he is away, however and have in the past looked after Minnie, Jax and Adrian`s dog. I do feel a bit guilty at the work I impose on these generous people.
 All that remains then is to deliver the various boarders with their food, baskets etc and to set off at the appropriate time with the traveling Ark to catch the ferry at Roscoff, 540 kilometers away.

  And that, in fact was where all went wrong last Saturday, when the infamous Bonnets Rouges blocked the RN 12 causing me to miss my ferry and forcing me to cancel all these arrangements. My sympathy for the Breton cause has considerably weakened or even disappeared! I hope to do it all over again in two weeks time, successfully this time I hope!

   Bye for now going to stroke the kitten!

 

The melancholy journey

  I find I haven`t written a blog for nearly a month, the impulse comes and goes and for four weeks it had went! However, I would like to bring you up to speed with the drama of last Saturday`s disastrous journey to Roscoff in the attempt to cross the Channel to see Kim and Alyson.
  It all started so well! I was programmed to leave on Saturday morning with two of the dogs in our new vehicle. All the preparatives had been carefully arranged, the dogs had been treated for ticks as their passports demand, arrangements had been made for our kind neighbour Ian to feed the cats, hens and sheep, and the new kitten, Mounette, had been left with Agnès to cuddle. All was set for me to depart to cross to England and spend a week with Kim and Al. Originally, Kim was supposed to come back with me, but we had accepted that Al is still not sufficiently recovered from her shoulder operation to be safely left. Still we were looking forward to spending a week together.
  All was packed and prepared. I was due to leave by eleven for the six-hour drive to Roscoff in north Finisterre. In fact, I left at ten, intending to pass any spare time exploring the town and perhaps eating a crèpe. All went swimmingly until just north of Rennes, with the journey over half completed. As I pulled in to the service area of the Armour et l`Argoat, I saw that the road ahead, the National 12 was completely blocked by almost stationary traffic. I saw a couple of Gendarmes at the Aire and asked them what was going on. They said that the Bonnet Rouge demonstrators were trying to destroy the Ecotax gantry further up the road and it was blocked for the foreseeable future.
  Well, that was not the answer to the maiden`s prayer!  Nevertheless I had hoped to proceed via an alternative road, the N 24 towards Brest. The problem was that I was stuck on the N12 and the first turn off was  two and a half kilometers ahead, no chance of a U turn due to the central barrier. Would you believe it took over two hours to reach the turn, and the alternative route was longer. It became obvious that I wouldn`t be able to reach the port in time for the boat, night was falling and eventually I decided to stay somewhere for the night, eventually landing up in a Formule 1 hotel in a small burg called Le Rheu.
   The f1 hotel was very welcoming and I was tired out after a long day`s driving. I spoke to Kim on the mobile and found there was no ferry on the Sunday, to add to my troubles but there was one on Monday morning.
  After a night at the F1, I set out refreshed, having worked out a route to avoid the N12 but go cross-contry to Roscoff , only to find the ferry terminal closed. Kim then tried to book me onto the Monday ferry, but it was full! The only offer was a ferry on Tuesday from Caen to Portsmouth! I was tempted to take this but realised that the dog`s inoculations would have run out. They have to be done less than 120hours before sailing and more than 24 hours. As the vets were closed on the Sunday, even this minimum time was to long if I had renewed their jabs. It was no good, we sadly decided to abort the crossing altogether and for me to return the 540 kilometers to Mort Limouzin. It had all been for nothing....
  The return journey passed without incident, although I passed many traffic radars burnt by the Breton demonstrators.  As the CRS riot police had protected the gantries, they had taken their spite out on the radars and had even torn up long lengths of safety Armco! I arrived home safely but very tired, having driven 1200 kilometers in the two days.
   We have since decided to re-schedule the trip in three weeks time, after a month Alyson should be recovered and Kim can return safely with me. Kim rearranged the booking with Brittany Ferries, who only charged an alteration fee of £25 which, considering I had failed to catch the booked ferry, I think is very reasonable indeed. An airline would have recharged my ticket!

   I am already concerned at possible delays on the road and am seriously considering going up the day before!  Certainly I shall leave LOADS of time for the trip!  I`ll let you know in future how I get on this time.

    Bye for now! Cup of tea time...

A much-travelled car

Resusci Anne--the problems of an inflatable woman

  I have just seen a header for an article on the side of the BBC news dealing with this useful dummy, familiar to all first-aiders and indispensible for practicing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and cardiac massage. In my time I was a member of a St John`s ambulance group, we had a dozen or so members and a decrepit retired ambulance and we used to provide first aid cover at fetes and a local beach. we also used to train on Friday nights before retiring to a local pub, where the incident which just made me smile took place.
  The group leader was a lady of a `certain age` called Joy, I think she was an ex-nurse and was responsible for looking after the Resusci-Anne. This fairly life-like but rather small figure, dressed in a blue tracksuit, folded into a suitcase. When the lid was opened the dummy suddenly sat up which surprised a number of unsuspecting newcomers! Unfortunately, our training aid had developed a puncture in her rubber skin where her two legs met....
   Joy was describing the steps she had taken to mend this and was speaking rather loudly as the pub was crowded and noisy. However, at a crucial point in her account one of those sudden silences fell, that the French describe as due to the passing of an angel. Joy was saying, in ladylike tones,  `Then I got her down on the floor and smothered her crutch with glue...`  The silence extended for several more seconds as everyone in the pub was absolutely fascinated at this revelation and the only sound to be  heard was the flapping of many pairs of attentive ears. Joy went rather pink  and continued much more quietly to the obvious disappointment of her new audience. I still smile today remembering that night !

   Bye, got to feed the menagerie!

The pig got up....

   Isn`t Google wonderful?  I was thinking of the poem, which everyone knows, which ends, ` And the pig got up and slowly walked away.`  In fact, I had forgotten most of the words, so I typed `the pig got up` and Google posted six or eight versions, including a thirties musical version. There were several different sets of words, but the one I liked best was this.


  It was one night in late October
  When I was far from sober
  Returning with my load with manly pride.
  My poor feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter
  And a pig came near and lay down by my side.
  Then we sang `It`s all fair weather, when good fellows get together,`
  Till a lady passing by was heard to say
  ` You can tell someone who boozes by the company he chooses`
 But then the pig got up and slowly walked away...


   A real classic, as I`m sure you`ll agree!